The Moon Over Dodge
by the lurker
Summary: Quick sequel to Rose Sullivan, mostly from Doc's point of view.


GUNSMOKE  
The Moon Over Dodge  
  
Doc ambled along Front Street with no particular destination in mind. He was so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he didn't even notice how cold it was outside. It had been several months since he had taken a breather from his office, the descending hordes of people keeping him more than just busy. He had been glad for the distraction, but knew that the void in his heart was no less cavernous than the day Festus had left Dodge. They had all tried to talk the deputy into staying, citing every possible reason they could think of, but in the end, he had still chosen to go. And if anyone understood the need to run away from the type of devastation Festus had suffered, it was Doc Adams.  
  
Still, he missed Festus. A slight smile curved his lips as he thought of how much Haggen would be amused by the idea that Doc missed him. Adams knew that Festus felt he had no choice; everything in Dodge reminded him of her. Doc stopped as he neared Delmonico's, and in his mind's eye he could still see Rose Sullivan in the window, serving coffee to the customers from exactly this vantage point in the street. He closed his eyes momentarily as his mind drifted back to a hot day in St. Louis more than 25 years ago; the day his life as he knew it had been changed forever by events he couldn't control.  
  
He felt the touch of her hand before he heard her voice.  
  
Hey Doc... are you all right?  
  
He opened his misty eyes to find Kitty Russell staring at him with concern. He smiled wanly at her.  
  
I'm fine, Kitty, just fine. Her look told him she didn't believe him, so he added, Just got something in my eye is all.  
  
She carefully took him by the arm, and headed him back toward the Long Branch, You look like you could use a drink.  
  
They walked slowly together in companionable silence. Just before they reached the entrance to the saloon, she stopped him with a hand on his arm.  
  
You look like the weight of the world is on your shoulders right now. You wanna tell me about it?  
  
His steely blue eyes looked deeply into hers, penetrating the very fabric of her soul with the intensity of his gaze.  
  
I'm worried about him, Kitty.  
  
It was a short answer, but to the point, and the candor of it was not lost on her.  
  
I am too, Doc. No one's heard from him since he left. I've never seen a man look so lost in the world and yet be surrounded by so many people who care about him.  
  
Adams stared at his feet for a moment, as if coming to a decision, then he slowly looked back up at Russell.  
  
Sometimes, Kitty, life can deal a crushing hand that you can't cope with, and when that happens, it can feel like you're alone in the world, no matter how much those around you love you. All you want to do is get away from everyone and everything you've ever known in an attempt to stop the pain.  
  
Kitty frowned slightly, Sounds like you're speaking from experience.  
  
He answered her as he walked toward the saloon, Maybe I am.  
  
***********  
  
Matt finished signing the pile of papers in front of him, just as Newly brought him a new stack. Dillon glared at the younger man, and O'Brien sheepishly scurried away. The marshal hadn't been in the best of moods lately, and the last thing Newly wanted to do was incur his wrath. Dillon sighed and set his pen down. He was worried about Festus. Even though his former deputy had resigned his badge, and said his good-byes to Dodge and all of its citizens, Dillon had asked Haggen to let him know when he was settled in a town. Two months had passed, and Matt hadn't heard a word.   
  
Something might have happened to him on the trail; or he might have taken ill; or tried to help someone and been hurt.... Dillon stood up, and began to pace. He couldn't sit here with all these damned papers for another minute. And Matt knew he wouldn't be able to keep from going out and looking for Festus much longer; he had to know what had become of him. He let out a long sigh of air, and ran a hand through his curly hair. He looked out the window. Dusk was slowly turning the bright sky into darkness, like a curtain lowering at the end of a stage play. Beyond the people moving quickly in the cold, wrapping up their late afternoon errands, was the Long Branch.  
  
Dillon grabbed his hat, and left the jail house, heading across the street.  
  
***********  
  
Doc was sitting with Kitty, the air between them somber and unmoving. Matt removed his hat, set it on the table, and took a chair, nodding at his two friends.  
  
  
  
Doc's voice was flat, Evening Matt.  
  
Kitty timbre held a little more friendliness in it, but it was still tight with tension, What can I get for ya, Matt?  
  
How about something warm? It's cold outside.  
  
Cup of coffee do?  
  
He smiled slightly, Sure. Much obliged.  
  
Kitty stood and went to the bar to retrieve the coffee pot and a cup, returning a moment later, placing the steaming liquid in front of the marshal. Matt took a deep inhalation of the aroma; it was dark and strong, and filled him with a momentary sense of well-being. But it was only a passing moment in time. A second later, his anxiety over Festus returned. He took a long sip from the cup, and noticed that neither of his friends had said another word. It didn't take a lawman to understand that they were just as concerned about his former deputy as he was.  
  
I'll be leaving in the morning.  
  
Kitty's eyebrows raised, Where are you going?  
  
I think we've waited long enough with no word.  
  
Doc suddenly spoke up, What if he doesn't want to be found, Matt?  
  
I'm not going to try and talk him into coming back, Doc. I only want to know that he's okay.  
  
Doc's eyes were focused far away, and his voice had an airy, disjointed quality to it, Sometimes a man needs to go someplace where nobody knows him for awhile, in order to forget.  
  
To forget what, Doc?  
  
Adams looked at Dillon, To forget the feelings that are too painful to remember.  
  
A silent look passed between Matt and Kitty, both knowing there would be a conversation about Doc's past when they had time. But now was not that time.  
  
Kitty spoke to Matt, Where will you start?  
  
Festus rode North outta Dodge. It's as good a place as any.  
  
Doc fingered his whiskey glass, looking into it,   
  
His two friends waited for him to continue, but he did not.   
  
Kitty's voice was even,   
  
He looked at her, his eyes a study in practiced mystery,   
  
Dillon spoke up, You don't think I should go after him....  
  
Adams shrugged slightly,   
  
Kitty's timbre took on slight annoyance, Either you do, or you don't.  
  
The old physician glared at her, Maybe he's gone to a town where he'll find people who will become like a second family to him. And maybe we have no right to interfere.  
  
Kitty was incredulous, _We_ are his second family. Or have you forgotten?  
  
Doc tossed back the last of the whiskey in his glass as he stood, anger propelling him forward.  
  
I most certainly have not forgotten. But if Festus does settle down somewhere new, and make a life for himself, it doesn't take anything away from us. It doesn't mean he feels differently about any of us; just that he's trying to be happy. And I don't think anyone has a right to interfere in that.  
  
He grabbed his hat and coat and walked out of the saloon. Kitty sighed and turned to Matt.  
  
I don't think I'll ever truly understand him.  
  
It was Dillon's turn to shrug, I doubt he wants us to, Kitty.  
  
***********  
  
Doc stood on the boardwalk outside the Long Branch for a long moment, but instead of heading across the street for the warmth of his office, he turned right and walked down toward the livery. He walked inside the stable, and stopped by his own horse, petting her gently on the nose. She nudged him on the chest, neighing softly. After a few moments, he walked down a few stalls to where Festus had always kept Ruth. The sight of the barren stall caused a thick lump to form in his throat, and he choked up for a moment. Abruptly he turned and walked out of the livery, heading in no particular direction.  
  
He looked up into the night sky as he walked. The moon was high over the prairie, and the clouds surrounding it were glowing in its luminescence, shadowed by the underside of its darkness. He stopped to admire the scene above him for a moment. The air was crisp and clear, sharp to the breath, but invigorating all the same. It was the kind of evening that could make a man stop and think. Even the stars floated in the somber sea of night, cutting behind the illumined clouds, shining without a care in the universe. Doc wondered if Festus might be watching the vista above from wherever he was on this night, and the sadness that had driven him to wander aimlessly, returned.  
  
A strong gust of wind rose over the snow banks, rattling the branches of the trees as Doc hit the outer limits of the Northern end of Dodge. Feeling nothing but a hollow bleakness, the old man sat down on a tree stump at the side of the road. He put his hands in his pockets, and shrunk into his coat trying to stay warm. Some part of him couldn't bear to go back to his empty office. He couldn't stand the thought of never again seeing the man who had been such a dear friend to him; and yet, Adams knew from his own experience that it would most likely be so. He closed his eyes, feeling slight remorse at having barked at Matt; but the words had needed saying, and Galen Adams had never been one to shy away from what needed to be done.  
  
As difficult as it was for all of them, they needed to let Festus Haggen go. The man deserved to live a life free of constantly being reminded of the pain that plagued his heart. And no one understood it better than Doc Adams. Still, understanding it, and accepting it were two different things. Doc sighed as he opened his eyes. He missed Festus more than he would ever admit to another living being, but he prayed that his friend would find happiness. He couldn't think of anyone who deserved it more. Adams stood, his old bones weary of sitting on the cold stump for so long. He turned for home, pushing further into his coat, shivering from the wind.  
  
The voice from behind startled him, for he hadn't heard the rider approaching.  
  
What in tarnation are you a-doin' out here at this time of night in the cold, can ya just tell me that?  
  
Adams couldn't keep the grin from his face, nor the tears from his eyes as he caught sight of the slightly worse-for-wear former deputy on the mule.  
  
I went for a walk, you knot-head. What does it look like?  
  
A walk you say.... Well it sure don't look so much like that.  
  
Doc snorted in derision, Is that what you came back here for? To contradict everything I say?  
  
Festus dismounted Ruth, pulling the reins over her head in his hand, getting in step with Adams.  
  
I ain't doin' no such thing.  
  
Darn right you're not. Especially since you don't even know what it means.  
  
Now you listen here, you old goat, don't you start in with me.  
  
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't.  
  
Festus stopped and looked at Doc, who met the deep hazel eyes with his steely blue ones. Haggen looked at the ground, fingering the reins in his hand. After a moment, he looked back up at Adams, his eyes shining with emotion.  
  
I missed you, Doc. You, Matthew, Miss Kitty, Newly, Sam.... I guess I just went and missed Dodge, I don't know. Maybe I just have a mite more good memories here then baduns.  
  
Covering his own wavering emotions, Doc gave Haggen a cursory once over, You look a lot worse for the wear, you know. You're too thin, and you don't look like you've slept in two months. Let's get some food in ya, and getcha to bed.  
  
Adams put his arm around Haggen's shoulder and together they walked back toward Dodge, saying not another word. Doc's heart was flooded with relief, and for the first time in two months, he felt as light as the moon over Dodge.  
  
The End  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
